Feeling like an adult
And indulging like a child
As I cycled along the canal in London last week, I realised I’ve been cruising around this city for 16 busy years. It's been home to my shortcomings, seen me flail through friendships, and dive head first into danger during drunken escapades. It held me as I've hidden away from hardships, disappeared into weed cafes, and sung into the night when everyone’s sleeping. Its guided me down endless streets when I felt most alone, and inspired me to try harder, laugh louder and seek out what I desired. And right now I couldn’t be more grateful for those loving London arms.
This city has been the soundtrack to my life as I fell and picked myself up again, as I've learnt and unlearned.
When I first moved to the big smoke, little 18 year old me was terrified of the unknown. Walking to the local supermarket felt like a massive mission and understanding how to get from New Cross to Kings Cross was like climbing Mount Everest. I spent the first handful of years getting to grips with the varsity of the city and little did I know what awaited me. I'd come straight from the countryside where the little village of three cafes and a kebab shop was as cosmopolitan as it got. Our idea of a night out began with a bottle of wine and ended with us gallivanting through fields as the sun rose. Needless to say my upbringing had been anything but city life and falling in love with London took me some time.
It wasn’t until friends started to suggest cycling into central London to visit art galleries and take tubes across the city to explore nightclubs and parks that I began to enjoy the magic of this busy place. As my studies ended, my circle changed and the London I thought I knew was flipped on it’s head. Suddenly I was being invited to music nights and community spaces introducing me to the underground scene of East London. I was welcomed into fancy apartments and massive homes in West London where money dripped off the walls and private chefs presented me with tea. I became familiar with the length of the Thames while running up and down it on a 10 mile loop passing every city site on the skyline. I learnt that every borough has a maze of streets that will take you between cultures, communities and architecture in a matter of minutes and that is the beauty of London.
I also learnt that if you're bored with the city or need to drastically change your life, you can simply move to the other end of the tube line and you’ll feel like a new person. My first hand experience of breaking up with a partner and moving my life 15 miles in the opposite direction did wonders for my sense of rejuvenated livelihood. I was met by a plethora of surprises as I started to explore my new neighbourhood; a grass roots music venue became my regular hang out spot and suddenly I found myself amongst a beautiful community of creatives. Jams in the park would be followed by campfires in friends gardens and popping round for dinner any day of the week became the norm.
The connections I’ve made with this city extend beyond the four walls of my flat. They seep into the streets, the skyline and the parks becoming a warm reminder that this is a place I call home.
In all the above, I found a sense of comfort, of knowing, of familiarity and that is what I propose makes somewhere feel like home. It can be the scent of food cooking, the laughter of a neighbour across the wall, the sound of music pouring from a speaker, or the setting sun as day drops into night. It can be travelling across the city without having to check the map, suggesting a cafe in the neighbourhood without needing to google it and saying hi each morning to the man who runs the barber shop and the woman who sells fruit. The connections I’ve made with this city extend beyond the four walls of my flat. They seep into the cycle paths that guide me along canals and they bring warm reminders that London is a city that I am grateful to call home.
Writing this all while sitting on a bench in my mum’s garden while taking a trip out of the city has made me feel even more sentimental for the freedom the city has granted me to expand, to evolve and to find myself again and again and again.
Where feels home to you?
What stages of your life have been held in the warm arms of a city or community?
Can you count your blessings and name a few ways you’ve fallen in love with your environment?
Sent with love, as always
Bx
Online Workshops
Edging Your Senses
Learn the graceful dance between discipline and desire
Thursday 22nd May, 7pm - 8.30pm
Get to grips with advanced techniques for solo sensory exploration.This is perfect if you’re looking to deepen your self- knowledge and become confident in knowing what you desire and how you can entice others by taking yourself to the edge….
This is the final workshop in the series - I’d love for you to join and as a special gift from me to you, I’ve created a 50% discount code: SASSY50. Grab your ticket and join me live or catch up with a recording!